Point System for Married Men (Absolutely Hilarious)

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men : Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:-

SIMPLE DUTIES

1. You make the bed (+1)
2. You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
3. You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
4. You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
5. You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
6. You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
7. You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
8. You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
9. It’s her pet (-50)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

1. You stay by her side the entire party (0)
2. You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
3. Named Rita (-4)
4. Rita is a dancer (-6)
5. Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

 

HER BIRTHDAY

1. You forget her birthday (-50000)
2. You take her out to dinner (0)
3. You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
4. Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
5. And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
6. It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

 

A NIGHT OUT

1. You take her to a movie (+2)
2. You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
3. You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
4. You take her to a movie you like (-2)
5. It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
6. You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

 

YOUR PHYSIQUE

1. You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
2. You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
3. You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
4. You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

 

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

1. She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT THE ANSWER IS]
2. You hesitate in responding (-10)
3. You reply, “What do u mean?” (-35)
4. Any other response (-20)

 

COMMUNICATION

1. When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
2. You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
3. You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
4. She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Awesome BOMBAY and now AMCHI MUMBAI

Some important and general knowledge facts of  BOMBAY aka AMCHI MUMBAI

Awesome BOMBAY

• Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
• Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
• There is no darkness in Andheri.
• Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
• No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .
• Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
• Nor is there any princess at Princess Street .
• Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
• There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
• The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
• There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
• Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
• Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.).
• Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
• Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
• You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street .
• There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
• There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
• Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
• Null bazaar does not sell taps.
• You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
• Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
• Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
• Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
• Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
• Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
• Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.
• But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!

AMCHI MUMBAI

A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible ..

Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin, 

Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes, 

Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,

Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,

Where college admission means hard cash,
Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.

This is Mumbai my dear, But don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU’RE A BOMBAYITE

1. You say “town ” and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate. 

2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called ‘Bambaiya Hindi’,
which only Bombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home. 

7. You call an 8′ x 10′ clustered room a Hall.

8.. You’re paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
of walk-in closet and you think it’s a “steal.”

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends,
office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay (REALLY TRUE)
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars
if you call the roads by their Indian name,
they are more familiar with Warden Road , Peddar B Road , Altamount Road .

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.

12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the ” Bombay Times” supplement….

13. You take fashion seriously.
You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York ‘s Manhattan instead of any other cities of India .

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and
Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ”romantic’.

22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken

Salaam Bombay ……!!!!

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Google vs Facebook – The Battle Begins

Google vs Facebook | G+ vs FB

[G+ Google]
[FB Facebook]

The social media war among tow of the biggest companies in the 21st century Google vs Facebook.
FB is famous known for its simplicity and data shoring across individuals in social media.
And Google being the king of simplicity has outdone with a brilliant step towards social media.
After some failure/downfalls with Buzz and Orkut, G+ really was a “FIVE STAR” approach and BANG to FB.

G+, in its near infant stage its bought people from all around the globe to start with “+” rather “Like” from FB.
Its really got a huge trend and change in the society, people moving from FB to G+ or using G+ more than FB… [What Say?]

Though FB has a bigger users data bank, but people tend to forget that it got to the 750 million users mark it took them almost 4-6 years

Stats:

1. 750 million active users
2. 50% of our active users log on to Facebook in any given day
3. Average user has 130 friends
4. People spend over 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook

But when you see G+ users data bank it took them a month to reach the Million mark at a faster pace than FB, so it clearly makes G+ the WINNER!!

[Info Ref: http://www.facebook.com/press/info.php?statistics]

After the recent launch of G+ music services, FB had to compete with the giant and gets in its own Musical Service online… hmm!!!

Now the BIG question: WHAT NEXT???

The Movie Fights:

With the famous FB growing to new heights and with the movie “The Social Network” a new sequel would emerge from the current situations, few names:

1. “Social Media War – The Beginning”
2. “The God of Social Media”
3. “People Network”
4. “Crash of the Titan”

[LOL: Hope you know which company this movie will directly relate too.]

Something about The Company:

Facebook

Facebook is a social networking service and website launched in February 2004, operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc. As of July 2011, Facebook has more than 750 million active users. Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends, and exchange messages, including automatic notifications when they update their profile. Facebook users must register before using the site. Additionally, users may join common-interest user groups, organized by workplace, school or college, or other characteristics. The name of the service stems from the colloquial name for the book given to students at the start of the academic year by university administrations in the United States to help students get to know each other better. Facebook allows any users who declare themselves to be at least 13 years old to become registered users of the website.

Facebook was founded by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow computer science students Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. The website’s membership was initially limited by the founders to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges in the Boston area, the Ivy League, and Stanford University. It gradually added support for students at various other universities before opening to high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over, but based on ConsumersReports.org on May 2011, there are 7.5 million children under 13 with accounts, violating the site’s terms.

[Info Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook ]
[HomePage: http://www.facebook.com ]

Google Plus + Project Social Network

Among the most basic of human needs is the need to connect with others. With a smile, a laugh, a whisper or a cheer, we connect with others every single day.

Today, the connections between people increasingly happen online. Yet the subtlety and substance of real-world interactions are lost in the rigidness of our online tools.

In this basic, human way, online sharing is awkward. Even broken. And we aim to fix it.

We’d like to bring the nuance and richness of real-life sharing to software. We want to make Google better by including you, your relationships, and your interests. And so begins the Google+ project:

+Circles: share what matters, with the people who matter most
+Sparks: strike up a conversation, about pretty much anything
+Hangouts: stop by and say hello, face-to-face-to-face
+Mobile: share what’s around, right now, without any hassle
+You: putting you first, all across Google
+Hangout – vieo sharing and chat
+Instant Upload – upload pics on easily and comments too

[Info Ref: http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/introducing-google-project-real-life.html ]
[Demo: www.google.com/+/demo/ ]
[HomePage: http://plus.google.com ]

Facebook finally taking over the global market in social media sector

Facebook has grown tremendously in the recent years.
Its out numbered all its predecessors & competitors and even put them out of their own game i.e. social blogging/networking/media.

Its heard that the current Facebook stats has already crossed over , all thanks to increased usage in countries like Brazil and India.

Growth is one of the powerful ingredients and spice that Facebook is achieving from its latest:

1. ads invention,
2. pages creation,
3. new look & feel in design,
4. impressive photos and video sharing, etc.

Facebook has yet not gone thru the downward trend from the time of it start-up. And i don’t think soon it will see that evil side (hope not),

Its creating new ways and opportunity’s to individuals or organizational objectives.
It offers a varied range of online flash games, that’s very popular among the users.

It may not be a surprise but it seems like California based social networking giant Facebook will soon start a new era of media and networking on the WWW – Internet.

Many Countries are now going Ga-Ga over social networking and the popularity among youths are growing even more.

Countries like India, Brazil, Phillipines, Argentina etc are responsible for much of the social website’s international adoption recently.

According to www.digitaltrends.com:

Along with the 700 million worldwide users, the Washington Post reports that the site is expected to host 100 billion photos once summer rolls around. According to their statistics, close to 6 billion photos are uploaded monthly with female users taking part in the majority of the picture uploading. The Post says “the number of profile photos posted on Facebook has tripled since 2006”.

700 million users really isn’t that many people when you think about the Earth’s current population of 6.8 billion. Facebook still has a ways to go before it takes over the world.

According to washingtonpost.com blog:

Facebook is poised to hit 700 million users, according to analysis from the Facebook statistics blog SocialBakers.

If Facebook were its own country, it would be the third-largest in the world.

So see the difference yourself and Join Facebook

Join Facebook

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